Maybe you are at the office right now, lurking since it’s your coffee break. Or maybe you are in the corner of the classroom, browsing your ipad. Or maybe you are just inside your house, slouching while surfing the web. Wherever you are, I want you to look around you. Maybe you do see your classmates or your set of friends. Or do you see your mom cooking your favorite dish? Do you see your boss? Your officemates? Perhaps you do see the people who matter to you right now. At some phase of your life, you’ll not be seeing them anymore as often as you do right now, or you may never see them again anymore. I just want you to know that at some point in your life, they will be gone. That’s the reality of life.
Remember your childhood playmates? Can you still recall their names? Perhaps, you cannot. The “totoy” you treated as your bestfriend may barely recognize you right now. The “nene” who gave you puppy love might actually somewhere in the world you have never been to.
Back in high school years, your life just revolved around studies, immature relationships, classmates and peers. Your circle of people was limited. Where are they now? Where’s the classmate you used to hate because she seemed so good to everything or the school heartthrob who taught you the art of stalking?
Where is your high school buddy now? Or the college bestfriend whom you used to spend the day with? You two were just inseparable, right? Now? Meeting your pal once a year seems a great news already. Perhaps you are so distant now. But life keeps moving on. You have to dwell the reality that you have to live apart from the person whom you think can’t live without.
1. What’s the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
2. To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
3. Three people were going for a job, a mathmetician, a statistician, and an accountant. It all came down to the final question - which was “What do you get if you add 2 to 2?”
The Mathmetician said “Four. Always four and never anything else.”
The Statistician said “Normally it would be four, but 5% of the time you will get a different result.”
The Accountant got up, closed the curtains, and shut the door. Returning to the desk he leaned over and said quietly “What would you like me to make it?”
4. How many auditors does it take to make a sandwich?
Depends how thickly you slice them!!
5. An accountant goes into his doctors office and says ‘I’m having trouble sleeping.’ The doctor says ‘have you tried counting sheep?’ the accountant says ‘yes, thats the problem. I make a mistake then spend three hours trying to find it!
6. What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 seconds, no wait……
What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
8. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
9. Chargeable Hours
A young accountant dies. He immediately goes up to heaven (wishful thinking we know) and meets Peter. Because Peter is an organised sort of Saint, he goes through the required details.
Peter : How old are you?
The accountant : 33
Peter : That’s impossible!
The accountant : Why?
Peter : I have looked at your time sheets and examined the hours that your have charged your clients - by my reckoning you are at least 97!
DEAL OF THE DAY:
EAT ALL YOU CAN for only 120.00 at Bobby’s Diner.
Location: Fisher Mall.
A contract of LOVE is a contract whereby one of the parties obligates himself deliver love to the other who, on his part, binds himself to pay therefor a sum of love or its equivalent.
Characteristics of a contract of LOVE:
- Consensual- perfected by mere consent and agreement of the parties.
- Bilateral- both contracting parties are bound to fulfill obligations reciprocally towards each other- that is to love each other.
- Onerous- love is conveyed in consideration of love.
List of COD for Accountancy Education
- St. Louis University-Baguio
University of San Jose Recoletos-Cebu
- University of St. La Salle-Bacolod
- Silliman University-Dumaguete
Centers of Excellence (COEs) and Centers of Development (CODs) are either public or private higher education institutions (HEIs) which have demonstrated the highest degree or level of standard along the areas of instruction, research and extension. They provide institutional leadership in all aspects of development in specific areas of discipline in the various regions by providing networking arrangements to help ensure the accelerated development of HEIs in their respective service areas.